We like to think animals are much more laidback and drama-free, but anyone who’s watched a nature documentary knows that the animal kingdom can be ripe with drama. And for the penguins of the Kyoto Aquarium in Japan, there is plenty of drama to go around. These very sexually-charged penguins have been getting together and breaking up with more drama than a reality TV show.
In fact, their love lives have prompted the staff to create a flowchart to track their conquests – and keeping track of all their relationships will have you feeling like Charlie Day keeping tabs on Pepe Silvia.
What can only be described as a wonderful fountain of penguin antics, the flowchart was posted to social media by an international politics researcher. And we could not be more grateful – this is the kind of entertainment that we need.
Found the high resolution version for anyone interested. pic.twitter.com/6CgiL0yP91
— Oliver Jia (オリバー・ジア) (@OliverJia1014) July 6, 2020
Based on the wealth of information on the flowchart, it would appear that there are a few scandals to be observed. There is the penguin who is pairing off with someone 17 years old. And if that wasn’t bad enough, there was a Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen dynamic going on, as the penguin turned out to be dating its great-aunt!
Then there was the case of a female penguin that aquarium staff characterized using the phrase, “basically demonic.” According to staff, she has been responsible for leaving a trail of six broken hearts in her wake – and she’s not done. She’s on to number seven.
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We can’t forget the penguin couple that are consistently stepping out on each other with their side pieces. Talk about trying to keep up with all the drama! These penguins can definitely give reality TV a run for its money.
Why has no one mentioned this feisty lady yet? Look at how many hearts she’s broken! That’s AT LEAST 6 penguin breakups. pic.twitter.com/zW7F9aLBx8
— Cirrocumulus-Cloud (@CirrocumulusCC) July 5, 2020
We… we need to discuss this. pic.twitter.com/g4Ftw7yRJ9
— Sean of the 🅱️oreal Murphy (@SMurphy2112) July 4, 2020
I stan these gay penguin exes described as “formerly BL, now love rivals” pic.twitter.com/YEHdJHcLdI
— ☄️ (@fuchukioku) July 6, 2020
You can also get in on following the drama unfolding at the aquarium, and thanks to one social media user, the flowchart has been broken down for you to better follow! The red hearts mean the penguins are a couple, the blue hearts represent breakups, the purple hearts stand for either cheating or a “more than friends” situationship, yellow are just friends, and turquoise hearts mean the penguins are either exes or former friends.
Someone, please call one of the major networks because this would be such an entertaining reality show to watch!
Anastasia is an American writer and journalist living in Dublin, Ireland. Her Twitter is @AnastasiaArell5.